By Reba Phelps
“February 2018 was the beginning of my adventure writing for the Natchitoches Parish Journal. I am forever grateful for this journey and wanted to share my very first article again. Life has really changed a lot in the past six years, I love revisiting to remind me what all God has done for me and my daughters. The questionable Jack Russell Terrier is still around….with all of her energy and loyalty.”
Valentine’s Day, by all accounts, is supposed to be filled with love, roses, chocolates, romantic dinners, and larger than life gestures that will surely make up for a year’s worth of possible wrongs or minor neglects. Unless… let me say it again for the dramatic affect…. UNLESS you are going through the throws of a divorce. That’s right, you read it correctly. Divorce after 22 years of marriage, two amazingly resilient and beautiful daughters, and one questionable Jack Russell Terrier is enough to make even the purest of hearts a little faint.
Having barely made it through the first round of holidays since the separation with the help of good friends, lots of bible study, a few bottles of wine and more tears than I care to admit I had completely forgotten about the beast named “Valentine’s Day”. One day while having a conversation with a close friend I admitted that I hated the holiday. As soon as the words left my mouth I questioned why I would blame this innocent holiday for my present situation or even have ill will towards anyone enjoying the most needless day of the February calendar. My friend quickly reminded me that maybe, just maybe, I just haven’t had a good experience on Valentine’s Day.
These words quickly had me pondering the past 22 Valentine’s Days. With the sharp memory of any woman scorned I scoured the past 22 years of memories in mere seconds. There were good ones, there were bad ones, there were funny ones like the year we bought each other the very same greeting card. I couldn’t stay there long or the tears would build and the emotions of the divorce would darken my visit with my friend.
With the new found knowledge of possibly living the rest of my adult life with hate in my heart for this waste of a holiday I went on a one woman mission to help myself have a positive experience for Valentine’s Day. Do I send flowers to myself? Buy myself an expensive purse that I cannot afford with one daughter in college and another who spends all of our earthly treasures buying slime making supplies? Do I buy my own card and tell myself how special I am? I just couldn’t even begin to imagine any of these ideas garnering the miraculous results I was looking for.
Thinking outside of the box and trying to escape this mini-self-induced downward spiral that I created for myself I decided that possibly I should put others before myself and see how “the other side” enjoys this holiday. In my mind “the other side” is the happily married, soon to be married, or just in the blissful dating stage (blissfully unaware stage) or possibly a sweet elderly couple who has been married for 50 years…I knew what I was looking for and I knew just who to call, eh, I mean text.
My friend, Nicole Ezernack, is the owner of Nicole’s Creative Flowers. I assumed she could use some extra hands on deck during the “Super Bowl of Floral Events”. After a quick text conversation she agreed to let me into the world of floral delivery on a temporary basis. I am not quite sure she was aware of my inner struggles with this (blissfully unaware) but she took me in.
When I arrived at 1:00 her husband, Donnie, fired me for being late. Nicole graciously rehired me and then trained me quickly. During training I could clearly see her passion for her work. She shared various experiences with me that she has encountered over the years and it totally confirmed that I was in for a treat. So, off I went with the other ladies loading the van. During my first trip to the flower mobile I popped a balloon from a beautiful arrangement and I was fired again by Donnie. Lucky for me, Nicole was there to rehire me.
We made several deliveries all over the parish. Every single recipient was ecstatic that they received a delivery but there was one delivery that completely stole my heart. I arrived at a local nursing home not knowing if we were delivering to an employee or a resident. When I announced the name for my delivery the receptionist’s face lit up with excitement so I assumed she was the lucky lady. Another lady came over and asked the same question. When I repeated the name I was met with the same enthusiastic look. They were both elated that this lady was receiving some Valentine love. As I made my way down the hall to deliver the goodies I began to feel the excitement building up.
When I entered the room I was unsure of her current health so I spoke loudly. While announcing her name she threw her bed covers back and sat straight up in her bed and said, “Who are these from? I do not have my glasses, read it for me!”
I am not sure who was more excited. Me or her? Fumbling around I opened her card and read a loving message from her precious son. Tears filled her eyes as she proclaimed, “that’s my son, he loves his mom very much and he is 47 years old”… (was this a bad time to tell her I was single and he is not that much older than me? I mean, there could have been a divine reason she said his age).
I could not help but feel the pure joy and love that she had for her son and I soon could not control the fluid dripping from my eyes. While there was a lot of whining and complaining on my part about this holiday it was shown to me today in living color that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be all about a romantic love. It can be the love that is shared between parents and children. It can be shared with best friends and coworkers. Valentine’s Day, however one might feel, can be enjoyed even going through the worst life change that anyone can imagine.
Hebrews 13:16 also reminds us that “Do not forget to do good and share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased”. We can never go wrong when we step outside of our own pain and think others first.
