A few days ago, while I was mindlessly scrolling through social media, I came across my “Facebook Memories” from 2018. Facebook memories can sometimes be bittersweet because life changes so quickly. But, this flashback was the sweetest of times.

This particular set of photos were posted from a Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws home. It was the first time we had gathered as a family since my divorce. I didn’t particularly want to attend because, frankly, divorce is just awkward. No one knows what anyone is truly thinking or feeling, so many things are still unresolved and even as amicable as things were, it just felt weird.

My daughters insisted that I attend with them. They simply would not take no for an answer. These two can be very convincing and irritating until they get their way. Looking back it was truly divine intervention that made them double down on my attendance. It was the best Thanksgiving we ever had as a newly divorced family. Heck, it was even better than any Thanksgiving we had as a nuclear family.

Everyone was in a jovial mood, the entire family was there, the weather was a crispy perfect fall day, and there was nothing out of place.

The photos even depicted the perfection of the day. Belly laughs. Tears rolling down faces. Heads thrown back in side splitting laughter. It was simply beautiful.

Fast forward to the Thanksgiving of 2024, there were two very notable family members missing from the once perfect Thanksgiving landscape. My daughters lost their precious grandfather this year along with one of their favorite uncles who was always the life of the party. While it was a more low-key version of the past, it was still lovely and well attended but with a pinch of…something was missing. My youngest daughter was traveling with friends and my older daughter was unable to come in. Yes, something was missing.

As I left when the lunch was over, I realized I had forgotten to take photos. This is a rarity for me as I am always with phone in hand, ready to snap and post.

When I returned home I started to realize that everyone was posting their family Thanksgiving photos. Post after post of perfect families, still married, with all of the grandparents, aunts and uncles with all of the smiling faces. Picture perfect. After properly comparing my family dynamic to all of the other families on Facebook I decided to abruptly stop scrolling.

It was simply altering my mood and I know that God has blessed me and my daughters too much to let sadness creep in like this. While exiting social media I asked God to forgive me for not being more thankful for the family dynamic I do have and all of the many other ways he blesses us. It is so easy to get lost in the scrolling and comparing of lives.

Holidays can be a ruthless time for those with family issues or grieving the loss of a loved one. My prayer is that you will check on your friends and neighbors who struggle through the holiday season and that you will intentionally think about the goodness of God. He never leaves our side.

“I will meditate on the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works. Men shall speak of the might of your awesome acts, and I will declare your greatness. They shall utter the memory of your great goodness, and shall sing of your righteousness.” – Psalm 145:5-7