Ponderings with Doug – June 26, 2015

By request:

I’m wondering why the milk is always in the back of the grocery store. It turns out the milk is often located in connection with the large storage refrigeration of that particular grocery store.  If you will look, you will notice that most milk coolers are backless. The answer is milk is really near the refrigerated storage and/or the loading dock. I was hoping for a more conspiratorial answer since I too grow weary of walking to the back of the store when all I need is milk.dougthumb

That imponderable was posited while I was standing in the line of Brookshire’s. I started thinking of other imponderables.

If a fine is a tax for doing wrong, is a tax a fine for doing well?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

If cats like mice why can’t you buy mouse flavored cat food?

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

If you fail and succeed, which have you done?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Is there another word for synonym?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philips Screwdriver?

Is Atheism a non-prophet organization?

If all is not lost, where is it?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you that a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw fish at them?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead?!”

How much faith does it take to be an atheist?

So what’s the speed of dark?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

I hope you will find many things to smile about today.

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