I want you to verify my automotive hypothesis. All you must do is watch. My thesis is that men driving big trucks are not capable of driving those trucks while on their cell phones. Further my thesis states the men in big trucks, unable to drive are holding their cell phones up to their right ears. I developed my thesis when the dude in the big red Dooley ran a stop sign while on his cell phone. I hope he can read lips! The other Dooley driver couldn’t seem to fathom that the green arrow pointing left means one is free to turn left. Perhaps they were listening to driving instructions on their cell phones. Both of these guys were driving on our roads on Tuesday. I’d been behind left turn guy long enough to know he was a “distracted driver.”I could tell red truck driver was going to run the stop sign, so I sat there and observed rather than being the author of “this week I had a wreck” article .Maybe I should count my blessings that I didn’t encounter some other drivers.

When police noticed water pouring out of the cab of a truck traveling down a road in China in June 2009, they assumed the truck had mechanical problems and pulled it over. Instead of a leaky radiator, the officers found the driver naked and soaking wet from having just taken a shower—behind the wheel. He explained that his air conditioner has broken, and his wife (in the passenger seat) helped him rig up a “sprinkler kettle system” to keep him cool, complete with a bicycle wheel suspended above him to accommodate a shower curtain. To keep the dashboard dry, his wife held a sheet of plastic over it. The man was cited for reckless driving.

Concerned drivers in Needham, Massachusetts, called to notify police that a vehicle was driving erratically, crossing double yellow lines, and tailgating other cars. When police caught up to the driver they found him eating a bowl of cereal with milk. His excuse for reckless driving, “I was hungry.”

Amanda Meyer, a police officer in Jacksonville, Florida, was driving her cruiser when she glanced down at her dashboard mounted computer. When she looked up, there as a tanker truck stopped at a railroad crossing. She swerved…but not in time to avoid the 40-mph collision. Thankfully, the gas tanker was empty, but Meyer, who suffered minor injuries, was cited for reckless driving and fined. $149.

Years ago when James Poole was my District Superintendent he told me about this one:

VINTON, La. — Police were surprised when a driver wearing only a towel got out of a van, then got back in and sped off. They were stunned when the van hit a tree and disgorged 20 naked people.”The Lord told them to get rid of their belongings and go to Louisiana,so they did.” Vinton Police Chief Dennis Drouillard said.

All 20 were from Floydada, Texas, about 550 miles from the southwest Louisiana town of Vinton.Driver Sammy Rodriguez and his brother, Danny, both said they were Pentecostal preachers, Drouillard said.

James Poole was pastoring the Methodist church in Vinton, Louisiana at the time. He tells the story with much more humor than the newspaper did. Talk about distracted drivers!

The Bible advises us to “be careful how you walk.” Maybe an updated translation would read, “Be careful how you drive.”