Ponderings with Doug – April 28, 2017

DougFUMC“Lost as a he-haint in high weeds.”

I have used it before and it still applies. Some people are that lost. For you folks that don’t speak with an Alabama accent, a “he-haint” is a male ghost.

Before GPS most men would refuse to stop and ask for directions. It is in our genetic coding. Our brides would demand that we stop at the sketchy-looking convenience store and ask for directions. Our universal response was, “Honey, I think I recognize that water tower and I know where I am.” After an hour more of being lost, the exasperated wife would demand we stop. She would walk into the same sketchy-looking convenience store and ask for directions. With the advent of GPS technology, men don’t need to ask for directions. Now we are never lost. If there is a problem, we blame it on that nice British woman speaking through our GPS. Google is infallible, right?

I do like to make my GPS lady mad by not following her directions. She will tell me to make a “legal U turn” or she will woefully offer the words, “recalculating.”

The notion of a male being lost for all eternity is both sad and humorous. Maybe that’s what a ghost is, a person who refused to ask for directions on their journey to the pearly gates. They will eventually catch on that it is OK to ask for directions and go on to eternal bliss.

If you see someone who is lost, what should you do about pointing them in the right direction? Do you have an obligation to warn them that they are lost? I’m going to tell you about a group that gets lost in our city.

There is a problem with one of our roads in Natchitoches Parish. It does not involve potholes. Well it does involve potholes, but I’m not going to talk to about them, much.

For some reason some GPS and Google maps are deceiving truckers looking for a way to by-pass our lovely town. According to GPS and Google maps a truck can travel north on Williams Boulevard cross the dam at the end of the Cane River and suddenly be on Hargis road and poof they have by-passed the city. The problem is that the road doesn’t exist. The problem is compounded by the fact that men and women driving 18 wheelers are being duped by their technology. The lost truck drivers must find a way to back up and turn around in very close quarters.

I have watched trucks head down Williams not turn on the Church Street Bridge and know they are headed for a dead end and a test of their driving skills. The Parish is putting up DEAD END signs on Williams that will give Truckers an opportunity to turn onto Blanchard Road. The gravel part of Blanchard Road, which is smoother than the paved part of Blanchard Road, but I digress. Can you imagine being a trucker who was looking for a short cut around the city and finding yourself coming off of Blanchard Road near Walmart? It is better than trying to turn around after you discover the GPS and Google maps were wrong!

If you see an 18-wheeler on Williams north of the Church Street Bridge, say a prayer for them. That trucker is a few minutes away from an “oh hell” moment. They have followed technology until it got them “lost.”

When you are lost, how do you “get found?”

I think the question has a spiritual dimension and an answer involving Jesus.

The truth is He’ll leave the ninety-nine and go looking for the one that is lost.

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