Sometimes It’s Funny How Things Work Out

By Joe Darby

Did you ever notice that sometimes when you’re driving and you need to do something like pick up an object from the floor of your vehicle and you really, really want to hit a red light so you can do it, that every light you catch is green?

Did you ever notice that when you’re really in a hurry you catch every red light? And that some guy ahead of you who could turn right on red and keep the traffic flowing, just sits at the light and waits for a green?

Did you ever notice that when, late at night, you get a craving for a good ham sandwich and nothing else will satisfy you, you go to the refrigerator and you have run out of ham? Or mayonnaise? Or bread? Or maybe two or all three of those ingredients?

Did you ever notice that when one of your favorite TV drama shows is presenting its thrill-packed season finale, you have to go out? And you forgot to set your DVR to record it? (That happened to me last week.}

(Let’s get back to driving for a moment.} Did you ever notice that when you’re driving on the interstate through a strange city in heavy traffic that the vital exit you need to take is on the other side of the roadway and all you have to do is cross four lanes of traffic being utilized by 18-wheelers doing 80 miles an hour? {For those of you with navigation computers on board, you may not have this problem. I don’t have such a device on board my car.}

Did you ever notice how when you need to fix some minor problem around the house you go to your tool box to get your phillips screwdriver, which you just used last week, but it’s not in the tool box? Or anywhere else that you can think of?

Did you ever notice that, if you have an important bill to be mailed, you put it in the mailbox just in time to get to the credit card company and a couple of days later you find it back in your mailbox because you forgot to put a stamp on it?

Did you ever notice that when you have company coming for a day or two and you want to cut your grass so the yard will look really nice, you go to the garage to begin the work and no matter what you do, your mower won’t start? And that no neighbors are home so that you can’t borrow their mowers?

Did you ever notice that when you watching your favorite football team on TV and there’s seconds left to play in the game and your team is on the opponent’s five-yard line, there’s a cable disruption? And that you later learned you missed a beautiful touchdown play? And that no matter how many times you see it on highlights, it’s never the same as seeing it live?

Did you ever notice than when you have a long-planned vacation trip that you are really looking forward to, someone in the family will get sick the day before you’re supposed to leave? (We try to rationalize when that happens and we say, “Well, if we’d gone on the trip something bad might have happened.”}

Did you ever notice that when you have out-of-town guests and you take them to your favorite restaurant, your food turns up cold and tough and tasteless, although every other meal you’ve ever had there is great?

Did you ever notice that when you win Publisher’s Clearing House’s big jackpot and they come to your house with the balloons and the cameras and all that, you’re not at home? Just kidding on this one, of course, but that’s Mary’s worst nightmare. I try to tell her that with the odds against her winning, we don’t really need to stick around the house on the prize-giving days. But my lady is an eternal optimist.

All of the other things mentioned here, or something very similar to them, have indeed happened to me. If you have any good “Did you ever notice” stories, I invite you to post them on our website.

Finally, did you ever notice that when a columnist can’t think of a solid idea for a column, he ends up writing something like this?

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