Ponderings with Doug – August 10, 2018

DougFUMCA month ago, my computer died. It gave no warning. There was no opportunity get all the stuff hidden on the hard drive. It gave me the blue screen of death. The computer was about seven years old. I decided that new might be better than an attempted resurrection of the previous computer. It lived longer than it should.

I have spent a month restructuring my digital life. I have learned to write down my passwords. Microsoft and I are arguing if I am me and about access to my Microsoft stuff I have spent hours upgrading software and such not. It all reminded me of something silly I read years ago.
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 “uninstalled” many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and LSU FOOTBALL 3.0. and now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Desperate.

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an “entertainment” package, while Husband 1.0 is an “operating system.” Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly. WAV files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support.

I’m thankful our relationship with God is personal not digital.

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