Ponderings with Doug – October 19, 2018


There are several of “us” who are outnumbered in Natchitoches.

“We” are Alabama fans. I am an Alabama fan because I was born in the state. In Alabama one does not inquire as to political affiliation, one wants to know “are they an Alabama fan or an Auburn fan?” I grew up in a home, where we had a dachshund named “Bama.” We had another dachshund named, “Schlitz” but that is another article.

The irony is that my kids and money when to LSU.

One of my guilty pleasures is to watch Nick Saban’s press conferences. I enjoy his post-game press conferences. No matter how bad Bama has thumped the opposition, Saban is always calling the team to make improvements to some part of the game. I’m telling you LSU fans right now, if the Bama-LSU game comes down to a field goal, Bama is toast. Our field goal kicker has two left feet and our punter has the shanks. Maybe that game will be rained out!

In my warped world I wonder what would happen if Nick Saban gave a post-worship service press conference.

You must imagine Coach Saban standing behind a podium with a Coke on the edge of the podium. Behind him is a digital screen with the logo of the Methodist church and our primary sponsor floating on the screen. Who is our primary sponsor?

Coach Saban speaking, “How are you guys doing?”

“Well, today we had a great church service. The sinners are a very good team this year, but I was proud of the way we competed and overcame adversity. I was also pleased that we got off to such a good start in the first service. It is important against a team who runs the distraction offense to get off to a quick start in the service.

We had couple of false starts early. During the offering the usher going down the wrong aisle could have hurt the service, but we over came that. We will work with our ushers this week on developing quickness and making sure none of the money falls out of the offering plate. If the ushers are controlling the offering, the rest of the team works better. The choir and the organists were flawless today.

We made some adjustments before the contemporary service. We are so proud of that group. With the college kids out for fall break, we brought in some of our younger players. They did a great job. Every player needs to be ready to get in the game. Every player needs to improve every week.

We are proud of our preacher. He is a good service manager. He doesn’t throw homiletic interceptions. He does a great job of time management during his sermons. He is really growing as a leader of the church. When the music is good, it takes so much pressure off him and makes his reading of the room more precise.

So next week, we have a big challenge before us. We will be at full strength in next week’s service. Only a couple of minor injuries, a tenor in the choir sprained his voice trying to get the high C. One guy in the back bumped his head when he fell asleep during the sermon.

You guys know our big rival is the opening of deer season. This is a rivalry Sunday. This date has been on our calendar since last year. The other team will be ready to play. They will have their licenses in hand, their stands ready and their guns loaded. We were challenged last year by deer season. We didn’t finally defeat them until the big Christmas Eve service. It looks like they are going to be strong again this year.

You guys in the media, don’t tell our church how good they are. I don’t want the team eating the rat poison thinking that because we had one good Sunday that is all we need to do. We need to work the process every Sunday. We need to improve every Sunday. We need to grow as a team. We need to do the things that we know bring success. We need to do our jobs well.”

If you want to imagine Coach Ed Orgeron doing the same thing, you must first have a person who can interpret someone speaking in Cajun tongues. Ed Orgeron would also be more enjoyable and encouraging.

What if Sunday morning church was more like Saturday night in Tiger Stadium?

Would you want to miss that?

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