Foster Mom: More Tears

By Melanie Wilson

I have been thinking a lot about advocacy and wondering which politicians I need to talk to about changing laws. We have to be honest because we need changes in foster care! This week has proved I can’t sit back anymore and I have to yell from the top of my lungs.

The baby I had from 6 weeks to 10 months had court this week. I’m blessed that his cousin that got him at 10 months old sends me pictures weekly, tags me in all her posts about him, Facetimes me, and thinks it is important that he keeps me in his life. So I got a phone call the day after court……..

She explains that the judge, who in May said we need to move to terminate parental rights, now thinks these children should go back to their biological mother. WHAT?!?!?

His sisters have been in foster care for 2.5 years now…. YES 2.5 YEARS!!! In May when the judge said we were going towards adoption a very nice family took the girls because they want to adopt them. These girls have been sitting in foster care for 2.5 years. Their lives have been on hold waiting for an adult to get it together.

In May when the judge said we were going to adoption I was asked if I wanted to adopt my baby but I knew that I was not his forever mommy. I prayed since the first day I got him and I said from that prayer on that I knew God has an amazing forever family for him. His forever mommy (I’m calling her this because it is his forever mommy no matter what) is an amazing woman who adores him and has continued the spoiling we started. He just loves her.

I believe we should give biological parents a chance and every resource to help them but 2.5 years is way too long. It doesn’t matter if you like Hillary Clinton or not. When she was First Lady she pushed for legislation that said a child should not spend more then 1 year in foster care but there are so many loop holes and as long as parents are “trying” the time continues to be extended.

When I say “trying” it doesn’t take much. If they are going to their parenting classes and nothing else then they are trying. If they go to rehab and are still not be able to pass drug tests, they are trying. Sometimes I feel like if they just show up every once in a while for a visit it would be considered trying.

We make teachers get a degree and pass tests to be able to teach our children and they only have our children a few hours a week for part of the year. But parents can do the bare minimum and we say they are “trying.”

I can tell you we are not taking this sitting down. These babies deserve the happy families they are with right now that will love, support, and nurture them. All babies deserve BETTER!

DID YOU KNOW? We are one of 12 states recognized for the good job we are doing in foster care…. WHAT? If we are part of the top 12 I can’t imagine what other states are doing because this system needs so much help!!