Foster Mom: They Hate Me

By Melanie Wilson

Have you ever felt like your kids hate you? The twins hate me!

They don’t sleep. I have had them since September and they may each have slept the entire night 3 times each and never on the same night. They are trying to kill me through sleep deprivation.

Apparently at daycare, the nursery at church, and for other people they are typical 18 month olds…. for me they don’t stop whining and needing to be held. They loose their minds when I am around. My mother sends me to the store, to run errands, or to hide in my room when she comes to visit because they are so different around me and you can only listen to whining for so long before it drives you crazy. They are trying to kill me through whining.

Ok so I know they don’t hate me but it surly feels like it a lot.

These poor babies at 18-months-old have abandonment issues beyond belief. I have become their comfort and once they see me after daycare or me being gone I think they realize they got left and it freaks them out.

They HATE their cribs and playpens. They scream bloody murder when they are placed in them.

Through their behaviors and the information I know about their case we have come up with some conclusions – they were left alone a lot and probably left in cribs or playpens while they were left alone and these poor babies have had their bio-mom taken away (due to her decisions) twice and have had at least 3 foster moms taken away.

No reason they freak out once they see me because everybody who has taken care of them has been taken away.

This next part will sound strange for a second but hear me out before you take this the wrong way….

We go to court soon and I hope the judge moves them. They have an aunt who wants them and I want them to go to her. It will be hard because she would take them from court just a few days before Christmas but I think she will be the constant in their life. These children and all children deserve something permanent. They have already spent over a year of their short little lives in foster care and it is time to end this.

DID YOU KNOW? According to Texas (the only state I could find information from) children stay an average of 13 months with a foster family. I think this is a skewed statistic because it specifically says foster family so I do not think this counts those in state custody but in a family member’s home or a facility. I have talked to lots of foster families and joined lots of groups on Facebook and that is another reason I think this number is skewed because most people I know have had kids for 2+ years and in all of the adoption pictures I have seen lately there has not been one sign that had less then 500+ days in care. Most have been 800+ lately.