Foster Mom: “Not the Mother”

By Lynda Hammett

Happy Mother’s Day!

Last year was my first Mother’s Day as a “real” mom. Of course my mother made it special and Chunk had a cute onesie that said “Happy 1st Mother’s Day.”

However that same week I got the “that’s not your mother” comment from his biological father.

I wrote the following a year ago about how those comments made me feel and I think they are worth sharing every year around Mother’s Day because they are so true.

I’m “not the mother” who slept sitting up for weeks while you slept on my chest because your acid reflux was so bad you couldn’t sleep on your back.

I’m “not the mother” that questioned the doctor about your size because you were so littler till we figured out you were failure to thrive and had to change your formula.

I’m “not the mother” that woke up every 3 hours for weeks to feed you because you needed every calorie we could stuff in you.

I’m “not the mother” that brings you to every doctors appointment and drives an hour to bring you to one of the best eye doctors because you deserve the best.

I’m “not the mother” that brings him to visit with his family for 2 hours every other Friday and sit around town at restaurants or a library waiting for you.

I’m “not the mother” that hugs, kisses, changes diapers, feeds, and rocks you to sleep everyday.

I’m “not the mother” that you get so excited and your face lights up when you see.

I may not have birthed you, I may not be your forever mother, but I am the mother. I am the only mother this baby knows.

Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate all of our mothers. My biological mother is amazing but her friends I consider my mothers as well because they were there for every milestone as well. I want to celebrate my aunts on this day as well because whose else would put on a play with you on the porch.

Mothers came in every size and shape. Like I mentioned I’m not Chunk’s or any of the other babies I have had forever mom but I was their mother while I provided for their daily needs.

Happy Mother’s Day to those who are biological, adoptive, foster, step, family, and friends.


4 thoughts on “Foster Mom: “Not the Mother”

  1. You are his Mom. I’m adopted 65 yrs ago. My mom was my Mom always. After Mom passed in 2003, I had found written in our family bible “you were not born from under my heart, you were born within my heart”. I miss Mom every single day. So on Mother’s Day, I wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day. Enjoy every single moment..Mom.

  2. This is beautiful and touched a special place in my heart. I have a biological son, step son and now raising my granddaughter. This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Being a real momma is about loving and caring for a child. You are a wonderful momma to all those you have cared for and they have all been healthier and happier and have better futures because of you.

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