By Melanie Wilson
I have to start with an apology for not having an article last week. I knew what I wanted to write about and when Monday morning rolled around it hit me that I never wrote an article. So I’m so sorry but if you read this article you will understand everything.
I have an empty nest.
My tiny baby went to live with a family that will most likely become his forever home.
I’ve had a baby in my house since October and now there are none. It is QUIET in my house. Quiet is an understatement.
I am so happy for my baby and his new family. Don’t get me wrong but it’s just hard being home alone.
His forever family is amazing! They send me pictures all of the time. She texts me when something new happens. He has gotten two new teeth since he went there and can stand up without pulling up on something. And she sent invitations to his first birthday party for me, my family, and all my friends that love him.
I’m not worried about him at all!
But the heartbreak is still real. It is painful. There are some days when I’m fine and some days when I can’t stop crying.
The other day was a cry all day kind of day. During the crying fest I told my mother that I didn’t cry like this when the other one went home. So I felt guilty for that. She explained that I still had a baby and didn’t have time to cry about the first one.
So apparently I am grieving over two babies at once.
I was always taught that family include way more people than were born into your family. Those babies will always be part of my family.
I know what I signed up for and I knew it would be hard. But I didn’t know how quiet it would be.
I’ve been taking it day by day. Making lots of to-do lists and getting a lot done.
I honestly couldn’t write about an empty nest last week. I was just trying to survive the quiet. I’m crying now as I’m writing this.
I wanted to write this series of articles to be honest and to let people know more about foster care. This isn’t pretty and I’m ugly crying right now.
But I can tell everyone that I wouldn’t trade this heartbreak if it meant I didn’t have those two perfect little boys.
I found a post today that said the following: “Considering foster care? Don’t let the fear of loving a child who might leave deter you. Let the fear of a child not knowing love drive you.”