Foster Mom: Embarrassed

By Melanie Wilso

I’m embarrassed.

I tell everyone that I’ve had two foster babies….. but the truth is I’ve had three foster children.

In October I got two brothers. The 9-month-old stayed till March and his brother who was 5-years-old.

The weekend was rough and Sunday morning was terrifying. The decision was made that for the safety of both children the 5-year-old be moved to a different foster home that had children his age. He also needed to be with a family with 25+ years experience so they’ve dealt with almost everything.

I’m embarrassed.

I’m embarrassed because I couldn’t do it. This child needed so much help and I couldn’t help him.

I have spent months replaying the weekend and trying to figure out what I could have done different to be able to help him. I have spent time thinking if I couldn’t help him then was I really supposed to be doing this?

I have come to the conclusion that I was called by God to help foster children. I was not called to help every foster child. I was called to help those that I can.

I am a baby mommy, which is even more surprising because until that first baby came I threw up changing nasty diapers or when someone else threw up. I do best with babies that can’t really talk back. Well, at least when they “talk back” I can just pretend they are complaining about someone else or telling me they love me so much.

I’m still embarrassed that I couldn’t help the 5-year-old and probably will always tell people I’ve had two babies because it’s just too hard to talk about the third one to others.

Even though I’m embarrassed I know I made the right decision for him. I couldn’t help him and I had to make the decision that was going to protect both brothers.

I’m not embarrassed that I am a baby mommy. I love watching them grow and seeing all of their firsts.

DID YOU KNOW? When you become a foster parent you can decide the age group that you would like to have. In the process you fill out a sheet of paper that asks what a child that comes into your home looks like. You can pick boy or girl, age, race, and anything else you could think about. I knew from the beginning I was a baby mommy and put ages 0-3, but I stated that I was open to a sibling set if the older one was close to those ages and that is how I got the set of brothers. One question I had to answer was what does a foster child that joins your family look like physically…..I wrote a child.