Ponderings with Doug – November 29, 2019

Last week I missed our staff meeting. Here is what happened. The worship director sent me a text that she had been murdered. The church business administrator did it. Obviously, the staff was exploring a murder mystery role playing game in my absence. Knowing the staff, it was a team building exercise!

I was amused that the business department and the music department had some kind of role playing upset! Any pastor who has done this for more than 20 minutes has been caught in the middle of one of those squabbles. The artist meets financial reality or financial reality doesn’t understand why we are doing all these special services at Christmas.

In our case, it was a fun role-playing activity. The staff role playing exploit did make me think of an old list of job descriptions for a church staff.

Lead Pastor

* Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound
* More powerful than a locomotive
* Faster than a speeding bullet
* Walks on water
* Dictates policies to God

Executive Pastor

* Able to leap short buildings in a single bound
* Almost as powerful as a locomotive
* Just as fast as a speeding bullet
* Walks on the water (if the sea is calm)
* Talks with God

Children’s Pastor

* Leaps short buildings with a running start
* Prefers toy trains to locomotives
* Faster than a speeding B-B
* Walks on water (if she knows where the rocks are)
* Talks with God if special request is approved

Worship Pastor

* Can climb over a small building
* Falls off of locomotives
* Can fire a speeding bullet
* Swims well
* Is occasionally addressed by God

Youth Pastor

* Runs into small buildings
* Recognizes a locomotive two out of three times
* Owns a squirt gun
* Knows how to use the water fountain
* Mumbles to himself

Church Secretary

* Picks up buildings and walks under them
* Knocks locomotives off of the tracks
* Catches speeding bullets in her teeth
* Freezes water with a single glance
* When God speaks, says, “May I ask who’s calling?”

– Author Unknown but very likely was the Church Secretary!    

A good laugh will help that Turkey and Dressing settle and get you ready for what comes next.

Remember this will seem like a short Christmas season, so enjoy it fully and quickly!